


kiss me goodbye just to ease the pain

by doethae



Category: Far Cry 5, fc5 - Fandom
Genre: Angst, Brief NSFW, F/M, drug implication
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-14
Updated: 2018-09-14
Packaged: 2019-07-12 02:05:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 722
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15985286
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/doethae/pseuds/doethae
Summary: John is unable to form a healthy and steady relationship with someone of importance to him.





	kiss me goodbye just to ease the pain

**Author's Note:**

> i intended for this to be short and this is post cult john! i hope you enjoy and i apologize if i made you sad

The heated sheets were twisted in his grasp, not due to any sort of fury but rather out of dubiety. The former rush of the stimulant long dissipated, as his temples throbbed and ached. 

John had almost forgotten of the frame pleasantly sprawled out a few feet away from him, the silence evading the possibility of interaction. 

_Weak. Pathetic._ He yearned to leap into the nearest shower and to scrub the sinful lust that clouded his actions that night. But he inched so close to her touch, for once his moment, he almost believed the words he so often heard were wrong. 

“ _Repulsive deviant child! The lord shan’t forgive nefarious misbehaving beings such as yourself!_ ” John could sustain through the beatings, but by God, the words plagued his psyche. He attempted with his entire being to repent, however his adoptive parents had blind eyes towards it.

At times, he found himself questioning the existence of a greater being. Religion circulated his entire life, suffocating his already smoke filled lungs. 

Though her touch made him feel required, as if he were destined for greater good. Not only did it fuel his ego, but it aided a bit in his shitty coping mechanisms. A sliver of John felt remorseful. Yes, she was vital to him, but he would easily shove her away if she stood in his chances of success. Still, he felt as if he were fervently depraved without her around. She engulfed a void in him that he never had knowledge of. 

The glass of water in his firm hold had the potential to break, John almost wished it did so he would have a valid reason to bolt. Never to return, never to remain to his sinful ways.

Instead, he loosened his grip around it, and tangled his fingers within her locks of [h/c] hair. She must have felt so serene, visible due to her audible stirring, but John was certain he felt more contentment than she did. He leaned over to plant a chaste kiss upon her temple, which was covered by a few strands. 

“John?” [Y/N] murmured, her soft voice feeling like angels echoing to the choir. 

Damn him for thinking of ever taking off without her. She was his strongest potent drug, he craved to off himself with the thought. To die with your loved ones, similar to his inspiration. 

His brows furrowed together, pondering aloud. “Why are you still here? Why won’t you leave? Everything that was needed has already been done, [Y/N].” John swiped his hand away, his expression now shifted to odium. 

She flinched once he removed his touch, wary of his former words. What suddenly spurred to cause him to utter such things? [Y/N] knew he was volatile, but his gestures of the night said otherwise of his words. 

[Y/N] stumbled off the mattress, gathering her garments before making herself look presentable. She trembled a bit as she pulled the shirt over her torso. His piercing cobalt gaze never once faltering. 

She staggered towards him, now straddling her thighs above his waist. Astonishingly, he hadn’t shoved away from the contact, just keeping his palms placed above the bed cover. Her pillowy lips retaining the area she once believed to be home, then her teeth sunk into his bottom chapped lip, tongue swiping across his whitened teeth. Just as he almost adjusted back to his arousal, he merely watched as [Y/N] drew back. 

“Don’t ever fucking speak to me again.” She wanted to be bold and say with such venom and sharpness, but [Y/N] held herself back. Would any sort of words be suitable in such a situation? The eerie atmosphere sank into her core. She craved to assure him how she planned to make him feel needed, how she believed that he would rise and be wealthy and deserving of success, or how she would never forget the silent but warm company. 

Instead, [Y/N] shut the door with firmness as she left with uneasy thoughts.

John lusted to reach out, cry and weep in her chest of his sorrows, and to speak of the solace she exuded. Or how he would never allow himself to forget or neglect the moments he spent with her.

Unfortunately, all he was left of were his echoing voices that remained.


End file.
